“In an ideal world we would all learn in childhood to love ourselves. We would grow, being secure in our worth and value, spreading love wherever we went, letting our light shine. If we did not learn self-love in our youth, there is still hope. The light of love is always in us, no matter how cold the flame. It is always present, waiting for the spark to ignite, waiting for the heart to awaken and call us back to the first memory of being the life force inside a dark place waiting to be born - waiting to see the light.”
bell hooks
Almost exactly a year ago today I burned out, not for the first time, but for the last time - or at least that’s my intention and I work hard every day to make it my lived reality. I didn’t write about it then as it was too raw, but I’d had many more experiences like I had last summer. Many moments, days, months or even years of feeling completely exhausted. Not just tired but bone tired and weary. It felt like I was walking through the world like a zombie, going through the motions. But as I’ve written about before, I didn't know how to stop and I didn’t love myself enough to try.
I know many of you have experienced this phenomenon too, over and over again. And like me, you likely feel like you can’t stop the grind. You likely tell yourself and others that overwhelm and overwork is just part of the package. This is one of the many lies we tell ourselves.
The biggest lie is that we need to grind to be worthy. Many of us tie our worth as human beings to our jobs and what we do in the world. And what the world values most is the hustle. Many of us feel that we only have value as doers, not as be-ers. We worship at the altar of productivity. Read books about productivity and how to hack everything in order to do more. We wonder: If we don’t do, who are we in the world? But the other side of that - the opportunity cost - is that we don’t get quiet, if we don’t slow down, we’ll never find out.
“Treating each other and ourselves with care isn’t a luxury, but an absolute necessity if we’re going to thrive. Resting isn’t an afterthought, but a basic part of being human.”
Tricia Hersey
Another lie we tell ourselves is that we must continue to grind because time is running out to address climate change and the magnitude of loss and damage arising from it is increasing every day. We ask ourselves: How can we take care of ourselves when so many people are dying? When so many are suffering? It is true that climate change is urgent and we must act in accordance with that urgency as a global humanity. But we have also been conditioned to believe that the burden is on our shoulders as individuals - which keeps the systems that have given rise to climate change, poverty, inequality and so much more that ails the world today, alive and well.
We are taught that rest is something we earn and many of us simply don’t feel worthy. We can’t see, let alone accept, that taking care of ourselves is itself part of the work we do to make change in the world.
“You were not just born to centre your entire existence on work and labour. You were born to heal, to grow, to be of service to yourself and community, to practise, to experiment, to create, to have space, to dream, and to connect.”
Tricia Hersey
For me there was also a lot of guilt associated with the grind. I walk through the world with so many layers of privilege that have afforded me the life I live and the abundance I enjoy each day. I am a white, cis-gender, heterosexual woman from the Global North, entirely of British descent. My ancestors did unspeakable things in the name of empire building. Some stayed in what was then known as Great Britain and continued to fuel the industrial revolution with their exploits while others sailed across the Atlantic to do more unspeakable things to the Indigenous Peoples in the name of “settling” what is now known as Canada. I benefit from what my ancestors did every day. I can’t shake that truth. It lives inside of me. And it feels vile that my very existence and everything I enjoy in my day to day comes from so much suffering. One way of escaping that truth was to grind so I could numb out the pain, both my own and that of others.
But no matter how much I tried I couldn’t escape the fact that my many privileges are woven from the threads of colonialism and capitalism, both of which are themselves woven from racism and the patriarchy.. So-called developed or high income countries were able to “develop” because they stole resources and in many cases human lives from so-called developing or lower income countries. This is a truth we all must all grapple with Dear Reader if we are to create a better world. The international climate negotiations are about making reparations for past wrongdoings, repaying a debt long owed from developed to developing countries. Even if many refuse to acknowledge that truth, it’s all there plainly laid out in the Convention.
“When you rest, you catch your breath and it holds you up, like water wings…”
Anne Lamott
In addition to the debt my countries owe to the countries and peoples they stole lives, resources and opportunities from, I strongly believe that I owe a personal debt to those on the frontlines of climate change for the live I get to live. For a very long time I believed that sacrificing my own wellbeing was part of paying that debt.
Until last year I told myself that the hustle and the grind are the only way to make change in the world and if I want to continue to contribute towards a better future for us all, I can’t leave either behind. Each time I reached the edge of burnout I would tell myself to keep on keeping on and then I’d get back “on track”. As if I was a machine. And in fact, I felt like a machine, living from the head up, not inhabiting my body and certainly not listening to what it told me. How could I? I was too busy hustling.
I now see that I was conditioned to feel unworthy, to never feel enough and not to love myself. Because if I know I’m worthy, if I feel like I’m enough, if I truly love myself, then I’ll know that I don’t have to earn rest. It’s my inherent right as a human being. And I’ll also see the trickery behind all that conditioning: it’s fuel for the status quo. For more of the same. The true path to transformation and creating the kind of world we all want to live in is in shedding the shackles that have kept us in unhealthy patterns of doing, doing, doing and more doing. But I didn’t know that then.
“Loving ourselves and each other deepens our disruption of the dominant systems. They want us unwell, fearful, exhausted, and without deep self-love because you are easier to manipulate when you are distracted by what is not real or true.”
Tricia Hersey
Everything changed for me - and I do mean everything - last year when I started looking into where the grind comes from. I discovered the We Can Do Hard Things podcast and did a deep dive into the catalogue of conversations pulling back the veil on capitalism and the patriarchy and the many things ailing the contemporary world that they have created. One of those enlightening conversations was with poet, performance artist and activist Reverend Tricia Hersey, the founder of The Nap Ministry.
Hersey refers to herself as the Nap Bishop. She’s made it her life’s mission to raise awareness of rest as a form of resistance and sleep deprivation as both a racial and social justice issue. The framework Rest Is Resistance is unpacked in a book of the same title. In a conversation with the co-hosts of the We Can Do Hard Things podcast, Hersey argues that grind culture is a collaboration between white supremacy and capitalism. She uses a lens of “pulling back the veils” to explain how plantations powered by slave labour fuelled capitalism and argues that we are all part of that system:
“A lot of people don’t know that capitalism was created on plantations. It comes right out of the chattel slave system . . . They don’t trace the roots back to the history of this idea of looking at a body as a machine. As looking at a human body as not being divine. As seeing us all as a tool for the production of wealth. For profit over people. And so when you bring that back and start to really study the history of what happened on plantations, the history of the middle passage, the trans-Atlantic slave trade, the way this entire culture was built on the backs of Black and native people... We are all part of it because we are all living in a system that moves like that. The system I look at when I think about grind culture - It’s the same energy, the same ideology that was on those plantations: Work all the time. Have four or five jobs plus a side hussle. Have your hobbies as a way to make money. Never rest. It’s the same energy that looked at human beings, my ancestors, as human machines who worked 20 hours a day on plantations, who saw this unsustainable pace of machine level production. It’s still happening in our corporations and our world right now.”
Hersey argues that one of the reasons we haven’t made the connection between slavery, colonialism and our current capitalist system is because we are all exhausted. We are disconnected from our bodies, our hearts, our minds and our spirits. And we are not just disconnected from ourselves but also from each other. This is deliberate. Colonialism was made possible because we disconnected from our bodies. Those that were still connected to their bodies and to the natural world around them were deemed “less than" which justified the extraction of resources and enabled the commodification of some human lives.
“One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receiving from others.”
bell hooks
Hersey’s work is inspired by her decision not to donate her body to prop up systems that continue to oppress most of us, some much more than others, and to inspire others to do the same. She has chosen rest, which is her form of resistance against this capitalist system that treats humans (again some more than others) as machines. Hersey recalls that once she began to rest, things began to make sense and she began to be able to make connections. To see the truth.
I resonate with this so deeply. Last year when I reached the final pinnacle of burnout, I had no choice but to rest. I couldn’t function. I felt broken. Broken down (another machine analogy which felt very apt at the time). I didn’t know where to begin but I had a lot of tools to draw on from my years of personal development “work” (it too felt like a hustle to create a “better” human). And as I rested and really began to prioritise myself and what my body, soul and mind needed, everything became clearer. And while it’s true that my work became easier and things began to flow better, that’s not the reason I have become a warrior for wellbeing. Though I am certainly guilty of using that framing to persuade my colleagues to slow down, streamline their workloads and take time to rest.
“Your commitment to your wellness is part of the revolution.”
Danielle LaPorte
In her work Hersey encourages us to deprogram ourselves slowly. She advocates for a process that enables us to gain ourselves back a little at a time by stepping back into our bodies. This is the embodiment piece we learned about in May with the help of embodiment coach Sheila Ruiz. Hersey is very clear that there are no quick tips. Reclaiming ourselves is a “full-on decolonising movement”, one rooted in human rights. We need to take a pause. No one is going to give it to us, Hersey argues. We’re going to have to take it for ourselves. And the hard truth is that we can’t do that unless we love ourselves enough to fight for our inherent right to rest.
I relate so much to this. For me the last year has been an evolving and unfolding process of coming home to myself. But it’s not been without challenges. In fact, if I’m honest it feels like a constant battle. Because very few people around me are in the same place. Most are still grinding. And that makes it very difficult for me not to grind. I feel like the lone person at a protest waving the flag for wellbeing. Shouting until my voice is gone, my throat raw. Waving my arms in frantic desperation for someone to listen. “Can’t you see what you’re doing?” - I shout - “Can’t you see this is a lie, that we’re all living in a Matrix?”
Many people pass by me and they say yes this is important. We want this. But they tell me that they don’t feel worthy. They argue that they can’t stop the grind because if they do everything around them will come crashing down. I tell them, “That’s not true. When you stop you’re going to see everything so much more clearly. When you rest you will feel revived, restored”. But as Glennon Doyle, one of the co-hosts of the We Can Do Hard Things podcast lamented in the conversation with Hersey:
“...The exhaustion and the inability to imagine is purposeful. Any stopping and thinking and asking questions and allowing your imagination - is dangerous to a system... It is purposeful that we are so exhausted and don’t have time to think.”
Hersey concurs adding:
“It’s very dangerous. We’re easier to manipulate when we’re exhausted and don’t have time to think. If we rested I think the systems know that it would be over for them [laughs] That so many people will wake up and be like, ‘Wait a minute.’ So to me this work is really about awareness and pulling back veils.”
For Hersey, rest itself is a veil buster. It helps us see more of the world and to see it more clearly. Rest enables us to slow down, get quiet, to meet who we are and to see what’s real. Once you see that, then all of the things that conspire to obscure our divinity - white supremacy, racism and all other forms of prejudice - the othering - that steals our ability to see ourselves and each other as divine beings - are seen for what they truly are: illusions and social constructions made to fuel a system that benefits a few at the expense of the majority. The systems that have gotten us to where we are today: a world that is ailing in many ways but also one with so much potential for transformation. As Hersey notes, the planet itself is exhausted and abused. What more evidence do we need to create a path to a different way of being and doing?
“We must believe we are worthy of rest. We don’t have to earn it. It is our birthright. It is one of our most ancient and primal needs.”
Tricia Hersey
What rest is not, is something we have to do in order to recharge ourselves so we can hustle more and grind harder. It doesn’t work like that. As I articulated above, I am guilty of using that framework in order to sell rest. I often tell my colleagues that we need to rest as change makers so we can make more change in the world. But that framing just fuels the systems that keep us exhausted. As Hersey writes in Rest Is Resistance:
“The Rest Is Resistance framework also does not believe in the toxic idea that we are resting to recharge and rejuvenate so we can be prepared to give more output to capitalism. What we have internalised as productivity has been informed by a capitalist, ableist, patriarchal system. Our drive and obsession to always be in a state of “productivity” leads us to the path of exhaustion, guilt, and shame. We falsely believe we are not doing enough and that we must always be guiding our lives toward more labour. The distinction that must be repeated as many times as necessary is this: We are not resting to be productive. We are resting simply because it is our divine right to do so.”
Did you catch that Dear Reader? You don’t have to earn rest. It’s your right as a human being. Say it again for those in the back:
You.
Don’t.
Have.
To.
Earn.
Rest.
It’s.
Your.
Birthright.
While rest is unquestionably your right as a human being, as I wrote above, Hersey cautions that no one is going to give it to you. You’re going to have to take it for yourself. The hard truth is that pushing back on the system that has suppressed and oppressed us is not going to be easy. There are no quick fixes. But the good news is that there are many thought leaders, like Hersey, who can inspire us in the journey. Another one of those individuals is social psychologist, writer and activist Devon Price.
“We live in a world where hard work is rewarded and having needs and limitations is seen as a source of shame. It's no wonder so many of us are constantly overexerting ourselves, saying yes out of fear of how we'll be perceived for saying no.”
Devon Price
I first discovered Price’s work when researching a blog I co-wrote last year with my friend and colleague Kehinde Balogun on the origins of the grind. While doing background research for the blob we found an article entitled Laziness Does Not Exist, which Price later developed into a book of the same title. In another episode of the We Can Do Hard Things podcast Price explained that the concept of laziness is based on three fundamental lies we tell ourselves:
1. Our worth is directly tied to our productivity.
2. We cannot trust our own feelings or limits.
3. There is always more that we can be doing.
In introducing Price, to podcast listeners, co-host Amanda Doyle declares that she has lived in accordance with the “lies of laziness” for her “whole existence” (haven’t we all?) and as such, the book was “revolutionary”. Price starts the conversation by recalling the pressure he got from his parents to be a high achiever - advice that he notes comes from a loving place but nonetheless programmed him to grind. When he got his PhD at 25 his body broke down. After nearly a year of being unwell he had to give up the identity of being a high achiever to instead nurture his body, soul and mind. As he recovered, Price had to reconsider what he wanted his life to look like. That time to reflect led to the realisation that he didn’t need to work all of the time to survive, he could just exist and that would be enough.
“I will not have my life narrowed down. I will not bow down to somebody else's whim or to someone else's ignorance.”
bell hooks
Co-host Glennon Doyle asked, “Is there a correlation between the stopping of the hamster wheel of productivity and all of the changes that came? Were you able to figure out who you were because you stopped doing what the culture was telling you to do?”
Price answered: “Absolutely”. He recalls that as he removed himself from social spaces and the lights and sounds that triggered him - what he calls taking care of his “sensory comfort” - he was able to figure out that he was autistic. And that time and space to slow down, to get quiet and reflect also enabled him to embark on what he calls a “gender discovery journey”. That eventually led him to discover who he is and to decide how he wants to walk through the world as a human being.
“The Laziness Lie is a deep-seated, culturally held belief system that leads many of us to believe the following: Deep down I’m lazy and worthless. I must work incredibly hard, all the time, to overcome my inner laziness. My worth is earned through my productivity. Work is the centre of life. Anyone who isn’t accomplished and driven is immoral.”
Devon Price
Like Hersey, Price agrees that overworking puts us in a “dissociative state” whereby we are disconnected from our bodies. He argues that we have devolved to such a degree that we now ignore our basic biological needs such as thirst, hunger and the need to relieve ourselves. We are so divorced from ourselves that we see eating, breathing and connecting as self-care rather than part of being human. In the podcast episode he explains:
“That’s how divorced we are from our bodies - that we see eating, breathing, walking around away from the computer, taking time for ourselves or being a participant in our communities as self care rather than that’s what being a living human being is. That’s what we have to do. Once you start noticing that I’m uncomfortable in this chair. I can’t be at this desk for nine hours, ten hours, 16 hours a day - Then you start noticing a lot of other things that you’re uncomfortable with. I really feel that you have to say no to a great many things for a long time before you develop that voice to say in a more empowered way: Now this is what I do want. This is how I want to be.”
Price ultimately decided not to pursue a tenure track position in academia - which is a difficult decision in a professional sphere in which that is ultimately hailed as the “holy grail”. But he knew that that wasn’t going to serve him, the person he was and the person he was becoming. He decided that he would rather have a life that he enjoys than professional accolades.
“If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.”
Audre Lorde
I also relate to this. The more embodied I’ve become - the more I live in my body and not in my head and the more I listen to its signals - the more I have no choice but to meet its needs. The signals are now so loud and so obvious. If I don’t listen to them they don’t let me work.
The week before last was a very hectic one. I was leading on three proposals and three reports to funders. A year ago that would have meant me being parked at a table or desk for most of the day grinding out the outputs. But I can’t do that anymore because I’ve started listening to my body. I can now hear very clearly the signals it sends me. I was sitting at my desk trying to finalise one of the reports to get it off my desk. But suddenly my body started to feel like a child having a tantrum. It told me in no uncertain times that it needed to move. And I had no choice but to listen. Because my body literally wouldn’t sit. So I moved. The more I listen to my body, the more I can taste freedom and the less I buy into the lie of laziness. As Hersey writes in Rest Is Resistance:
“The concept of laziness is a tool of the oppressor. A large part of your unravelling from capitalism will include becoming less attached to the idea of productivity and more committed to the idea of rest as a portal.”
Like Hersey and Price, I have chosen not to donate my body to the systems that tell us to grind. I am no longer to allow my body to be abused in the name of the grind. That’s not to say it’s easy. But the more people that stand up and say no, the easier it will become.
Another thought leader adding wisdom and guidance to help us leave the grind behind is psychiatrist and author Pooja Lakshmin who was a guest on a recent episode of the We Can Do Hard Things podcast. Lakshmin’s work is about real self care and like Hersey, she argues that it involves pushing back against the systems of oppression. In introducing Lakshmin and framing the conversation, co-host Glennon Doyle said:
“I feel like self-care is like recycling. There are these huge forces and companies that are destroying our planet. And they could change and our planet would not be destroyed. But because they do not want to change they have instead created little programs for us like a little triangle for recycling. And then lay in bed worried if I put my glass bottle in the right bucket and that’s why the planet is burning. There are forces and industries that are profiting off the planet’s demise. And the way they abdicate themselves of responsibility is by making us feel like it’s an individual problem. And I feel like that’s what self-care is. They say that most of the world has support systems and America has women. The fact that we’re all exhausted is maybe not because we are not drinking enough green juice. But maybe because there are larger forces exhausting us. Is self-care like recycling?”
“Real self-care, as you’ll see, is not a one-stop shop like a fancy spa retreat or a journaling app; it’s an internal process that involves making difficult decisions that will pay off tenfold in the long run as a life built around the relationships and activities that matter most to you.”
Pooja Lakshmin
Lakshmin answers, “Yes. 100 percent.” She goes on to explain that comparing self-care to recycling is a perfect metaphor because all of the structures of the societies (they speak as Americans but the context is global) that we live in have exonerated themselves and put the responsibility on the individual. We are trying to integrate tools for wellbeing into a system that oppresses us rather than dismantling the system itself. Real-self care is a way to start the process of dismantling the systems that keep us chained to the grind. Lakshmin describes the difference between the real self care and faux self care in her book Real Self-Care:
“Faux self-care is a method—in the moment, going for a run might improve your mood, but it does nothing to change the circumstances in your life that led you to feel drained, energy-less, or down. On the other hand, the work of real self-care is about going deeper and identifying the core principles to guide decision-making. When you apply these principles to your life, you don’t just feel relief in the moment, you design a system of living that prevents the problems from coming up in the first place.”
What does real self-care look like? Lakshmin lays out a framework with four principles of self-care: Real self-care she argues is not a noun but a verb which describes, “ an on-going internatll process that guides us toward profound emotional wellness and reimagines how we interact with other.” This requires self-knowledge, self-compassion and the willingness and ability to make difficult decisions. The four principles are:
While writing this I had to go through a process of getting real with myself. I had to acknowledge that a lot of my work on wellbeing is within the framework of the status quo. I write about self-love and setting boundaries but not about blasting the systems that oppress us from the inside out. The work of Hersey, Price and Lakshmin is about doing the hard thing: To stop allowing ourselves to be oppressed and sacrificing our wellbeing to what we tell ourselves is “the greater good”. As poet, author and activist Audre Lord wrote in her essay entitled The Master’s Tools Will Never Dismantle the Master’s House:
“For the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house. They may allow us to temporarily beat him at his own game, but they will never enable us to bring about genuine change. Racism and homophobia are real conditions of all our lives in this place and time. I urge each one of us here to reach down into that deep place of knowledge inside herself and touch that terror and loathing of any difference that lives here. See whose face it wears. Then the personal as the political can begin to illuminate all our choices.”
Lorde referred to self-care as “self preservation” particularly important for people that are marginalised by the societies they live in. She herself was a Black, queer woman who became an adult in the 1950s when it was dangerous to be any of those things.
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
Audre Lorde
The fact is our history is paved with pain, pain wrought by the systems that continue to favour some over others still to this day. Capitalism and colonialism were and still are enabled by othering: making some groups of people “less than” others. This justified empire building and slavery, both of which fueled the industrial revolution. It was not long after the industrial revolution began that the effect of certain gases being emitted by the industrial complex on the atmosphere was detected. We’ve had nearly 200 years to act. The unwillingness to mobilise action and support to avert (through mitigation), minimise (through adaptation) and address loss and damage and the failure to implement what the Convention so clearly lays out is a continuation of the power dynamics of colonialism. Some people, some countries, are deemed more worthy than others.
Many of us - and I was long part of this group of folks - use work as a tool so we don’t have to stop to feel the pain that truth brings. Yes, we use all manner of excuses. The urgency of climate change among them. And yes mobilising action and support to address climate change is urgent. Of course it is. But it’s also true that we won’t adequately address climate change and everything else that ails the world at the scale needed using the framework of the capitalist system that created it. Because the Master’s tools can’t dismantle the Master’s house. We have to reconcile with the past to create a different world. Yes, it’s painful. But many of us live that pain every day. Others - like me - wear layers of privilege that enable us to ignore it to a certain extent - but it’s still there.
A few years ago I was part of a team writing a paper that laid out why climate change and the lack of action to address it are due to colonialism and racism. The reaction from many of my white colleagues when the paper was launched was disappointing to say the least. I received many emails from people - from some of the very smartest people designing climate policy today - who denied the premise of the paper. Those emails often started with something like: “Yes, but . . . “ Yeah, but what? - I thought. Their reactions were born out of a deep desire not to engage with the truth. To numb the pain that doing so would bring by turning their heads away. We don’t want to see this truth is what those messages told me. They also told me that many people are okay with maintaining the status quo because they benefit from it.
But most of us do want a different world. We just don’t all want to do the work needed to get there. When you slow down, when you listen to your body, when you feel the feels it will be difficult to start with. You might feel nauseous as I have so many days that I’ve stepped outside of my comfort zone. But as shame and vulnerability researcher and thought leader Brené Brown argues in her TED Talk entitled The Power of Vulnerability:
“You can't numb those hard feelings without numbing the other affects, our emotions. You cannot selectively numb. So when we numb those, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness. And then we are miserable, and we are looking for purpose and meaning, and then we feel vulnerable, so then we have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin. And it becomes this dangerous cycle.”
Let’s face it folks: Many of us are using our work as numbing tools to avoid feeling the pain that comes with being alive today. As I write this there are 114 armed conflicts in the world. Earlier this week Hurricane Beryl tore through Texas after leaving devastation in its wake in the Caribbean and parts of Mexico. Today flooding in Nepal led two buses to be swept into a river swollen by monsoon rains. Rising temperatures, increasing frequency and magnitude of storms, floods, droughts, sea level rise - among other impacts of climate change - are affecting communities and countries across the world but some much more than others. Everyday we hear about more impacts of climate change and the loss and damage that results - both economic and non-economic in nature. So much so that the term “disaster fatigue” was created.
If we stop to rest we will have to feel and that will be difficult at first, definitely. But the other side of that is that if we stop to rest we will also get to feel. Because when we feel sorrow, we open our hearts to joy. Alongside tears of sadness we can find tears of happiness. Beyond feeling stuck and lonely is feeling liberated and connected.
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes. Including you.”
Anne Lammott
If you feel guilty for making time for rest and real self-care with everything going on in the world, know that it’s not your guilt. You’ve been conditioned to feel guilty for taking care of yourself, likely more so if you’re a woman. As Lakshmin says in the podcast episode:
“My conceptualization of guilt is that it’s not actually ours. It’s coming from the toxic systems - all the things we talked about - capitalism, white supremacy, colonialism. The guilt lives outside of us or it’s coming outside of us - but we internalise it and make ourselves the bad guy. So whenever you feel guilt, imagine it as a faulty light on your car dashboard. . . . You can let it be in the background. Guilt doesn’t need to be your moral background.”
When you feel guilty for not taking on more work when you see others around you snowed under, take a moment to pause and reflect on where the guilt is coming from. Is this yours? Or is it coming from somewhere outside of you? Is it serving you? Is it serving humanity? Or is it enabling you to be a tool to keep the broken systems going?
It’s going to take courage to say no when so many others are saying yes. But eventually they will follow once you show that it can be done. Going first isn’t easy but someone has to do it. And I promise you that you will get to the other side so much faster if you start now. You will get to taste freedom sooner. Be liberated quicker.
Hersey’s next book, We Will Rest!, is a guide for escaping the grind and dehumanising systems that keep us stuck in unhealthy ways of working. We sacrifice our own wellbeing to keep those systems alive and well. There’s a method in that madness, Dear Reader. And if you think you’re not part of it, you’re almost certainly wrong. I highly recommend diving into Hersey’s work yourself and when her next book comes out in November I’ll write another blog with insights from it, in time for the new year.
“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”
Audre Lorde
In the meantime we have a growing set of tools in our toolbox to start pushing back on the conditioning to leave the grind behind. In January we set an intention to dedicate this year to wellbeing. In February we committed to love ourselves. In March we added courage and in April discipline joined the tools in our toolbox. In May we learned more about embodiment and how to live in and listen to our bodies. Last month we learned about connection, both to ourselves, each other and the world around us. We will need all these tools to stand up for our right to rest.
As always we will be here for you. We want to hear from you and how we can support you. Please do get in touch and let us know. I am going to rest in August, not stepping away from work entirely, but taking it a bit slower in the spirit of walking the walk. Stay tuned next month for a guest blog from Rajeshree Sisodia of Well Through Words. We hope you’ll join us in taking some time to do some reflective writing over the next few months and to get quiet enough to hear and listen to what comes through. It won’t be easy but we have each other to lean on.
Erin Roberts is the founder and global lead of the Loss and Damage Collaboration. This year she’s on a journey to cultivate her own wellbeing and help create a thriving community of folks working on Loss and Damage who are healthy and happy as they create a different world together. She hopes you’re joining us. Next month she is going to rest in the spirit of walking the walk. The next instalment in the series, on the theme of reflection, will be authored by Rajeshree Sisodia of Well Through Words.
Further reading:
Ballesteros, E. (2024). The Cure for Burnout: How to Find Balance and Reclaim Your Life. London: Dial Press. Find it here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-cure-for-burnout-how-to-build-better-habits-find-balance-and-reclaim-your-life-emily-ballesteros/20263724?ean=9780593596319.
Headlee, C. (2021). Do Nothing: How to Break Away from Overworking, Overthinking and Underliving. London: Harmony. Find it here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/do-nothing-how-to-break-away-from-overworking-overdoing-and-underliving-celeste-headlee/9577099?ean=9781984824752.
Hersey, T. (2024). We Will Rest!: The Art of Escape. London: Little, Brown Spark. Find it here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/we-will-rest-the-art-of-escape-tricia-hersey/21355330?ean=9780316365550.
Hersey, T. (2022). Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto. London: Little, Brown Spark. Find it here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/rest-is-resistance-a-manifesto-tricia-hersey/18255493?ean=9780316365215.
Honore, C. (2005). In Praise Of Stillness: Challenging the Cult of Speed. London: Harper One. Find it here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/in-praise-of-slowness-challenging-the-cult-of-speed-carl-honore/7384935?aid=54549&ean=9780060750510&listref=no-resolutions-a-radical-self-acceptance-book-list.
Lakshmin, P. (2024). Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included). London: Penguin LIfe. Find it here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/real-self-care-a-transformative-program-for-redefining-wellness-crystals-cleanses-and-bubble-baths-not-included-pooja-lakshmin/18564150?ean=9780593489727.
Newport, C. (2024). Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment Without Burnout. Find it here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/slow-productivity-the-lost-art-of-accomplishment-without-burnout-cal-newport/20143790?ean=9780593544853.
Odell, J. (2020). How To Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy. London: Melville House Publishing. Find it here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/how-to-do-nothing-resisting-the-attention-economy-jenny-odell/8076119?aid=54549&ean=9781612198552&listref=no-resolutions-a-radical-self-acceptance-book-list&page=2.
Pang, A. S-J. (2024). Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less. London: Basic Books. Find it here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/rest-why-you-get-more-done-when-you-work-less-alex-soojung-pang/7215716?ean=9781541604834.
Price, D. (2022). Laziness Does Not Exist. London: Atria Books. Find it here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/laziness-does-not-exist-devon-price/14871468?aid=54549&ean=9781982140113&listref=no-resolutions-a-radical-self-acceptance-book-list.
Raheem, O. (2023). Rest Is Sacred: Reclaiming Our Brilliance Through the Practice of Stillness. London: Shambhala. Find it here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/rest-is-sacred-reclaiming-our-brilliance-through-the-practice-of-stillness-octavia-f-raheem/21086508?ean=9781645473275.
Strecher, V.J. (2016). Life On Purpose: How Living for What Matters Changes Everything. London: HarperOne. Find it here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/life-on-purpose-how-living-for-what-matters-most-changes-everything-victor-j-strecher/6436397?ean=9780062409607.
Stolzoff, S. (2023). The Good Enough Job: Reclaiming Life from Work. London: Portfolio. Find it here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-good-enough-job-reclaiming-your-life-from-your-work-simone-stolzoff/18774272?ean=9780593538968.
Taylor, S.R. (2021). The Body Is Not An Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love. London: Barrett-Koehler Publishers. Find it here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-body-is-not-an-apology-the-power-of-radical-self-love-sonya-renee-taylor/7723432?ean=9781523090990.
Tolle, E. (2003). Stillness Speaks. London: New World Library. Find it here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/stillness-speaks-eckhart-tolle/15546123?ean=9781577314004
